you're a mystery yourself

Saturday, July 25, 2009

8:10 AM

YAW! Summer holidays, so this blog went dead again, even though I didn't go anywhere. Heheh. :D So what made me come back? REPORTING THE NEWS, SIR. I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER COUSIN. ANOTHER *MALE*. Sob. Too many male cousins, and it can get to you. >.> Plus the number of cousins who I DON'T know. Eek. As you all know, I'm sexist. So I'm probably gonna start ranting about the ratio of males to females in this world. IF the number of male sperms and female sperms are the same, the male ones are STILL faster. SEE, LOOK AT THEIR EGO. EVEN IN THE SPERM STAGE, THEY'RE SHOWING OFF THEIR STRENGTH COMPARED TO OUR "WEAKNESS". AHHHHHHH. =( But, it is comforting to know that females are smarter and thus, HAVE A BETTER SENSE OF DIRECTION. AHAH.

&the beauty.

2:15 AM

Exams are over... it's the summer holidays. I expected to feel free... instead I'm in a daze, wondering what I'm even doing here. Yesterday the results for the schools came out... that show if you're accepted in the school or not. I didn't see my name... so I just thought, Maybe the school needs more time to decide. It IS an international school after all. But some small nagging part in my mind thought the opposite. Today, I didn't see any difference in the lists. I wanted to ask someone, but I didn't know who could help...
2 hours later. At the end of the exam, the teacher asked me to go see the principal concerning the school, saying there was a problem. I kinda... dropped my bag accidentally there. Shows how much I was paying attention what I was doing. So... the principal explained to me what exactly happened. "The school didn't choose you, even though you passed the entrance exam pretty well. It was probably because they don't accept students from other towns. You put that school as first choice, with the international option. They refused. You put that school in second choice too, without international option, but with japanese. They had no space left. Third choice, you took the school that's close by. Because they had already chosen the students who put their school in first and second choice, there's no more space for you, who put them in third choice. But it's not the question of your good grades or anything." What? So for this whole year, all that hard work just went down the drain? Because they "didn't feel like accepting students from other towns"? No one, where I live got in that school, that I know. But I can't even go to the one in town? When others, who've been fooling around the whole year got in? So now what? I can't get in a school? "There are three people who are in the same case as you. You, and -insert 2 names here-. I sent a letter to the principal explaining about the situation, and if they have a space, you'll be accepted." Yes me, what about those 2 others? You're gonna leave them with no school to go to? Somehow, that has always been my dream. Right now, it doesn't feel like a dream. It feels more like the truth hasn't hit, hasn't registered in my brain yet. Everyone tells me they think I'll be accepted anyway, don't worry, blah blah... or else they just say, ohhh, the poor thing. I don't want to be called that. I feel like I'm a deer shot down by a hunter, and people will say exactly that, but they don't really care. What did they say before the darned results came out? "You'll be fineeee, you're in the top 36 list of people who did the entrance exam. High chance of being chosen. =)" High. Me, I was banking more on the... low chance of not being chosen. Now... what? Do I go back to Singapore, find a school, and fail to get in? Do I stay here and hope? One part of me just wishes to go back... to forget about France, to just say: "France is not for me." The other wants to stay here and continue hoping... fear of not getting in in Singapore either, with all the high school standards. Fear of not being able to do all the homework, or not fitting in... or just, not being able to stand it.
I thought being free did not include this.

&the beauty.

The name's Charmaine :D Currently 14, going on 15(5th nov). I'm just the typical stubborn and foolish girl who walks into walls whenever she's on her two feet... but I'm not going to say more about that =^-^=

I just love the cool breeze blowing past your face in autumn... or spring. And while you walk you can enjoy the beautiful scenery ^.^
Now, what do I hate...? Insects, mainly mosquitoes and bugs I don't recognize, but butterflies are okay. I guess I don't hate anything else?

¤ To be able to go back to Singapore...
¤ Preferred job, doctor, so I can help people out
¤ Beat my damn rival ¬¬

JAYJAY! ^-^
Nathalie =D
Seanie x3
Nicholas

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